Weekly Stories

poopootatty Break it down!

Driving to the island in the rain, I make the mistake of taking Nora’s Furby with me, out of kind consideration, this being her new toy. She is coming in the other car with the boys later. For those of you who don’t know what a Furby is, it’s a toy that talks to you in a loud obnoxious voice and it is stimulated by movement. There’s no real way to shut it off except to pull its tail for eight seconds and keep it still. This is what I didn’t think through. If you’re driving and have it in…

Mmm…message board wisdom

I stare at two posters on the ferry terminal message board and they both look like the inside of my head: so many colourful ideas and lofty ambitions all crammed into one tight space. In short, utter chaos. It makes me laugh. At least I’m not alone in the ol’ creative process here. I am half way through my first draft of Holy Mo! A Christmas Show! and coming to the island to write. This red crazy poster is for…a dance…? a Buddhist chaplaincy while returning to Alawi? A fundraiser? Meeting an alluring woman I “can’t forget”? Eating cupcakes? African women…

Allah is the only legitimizer

Coming back from dropping Nora off at school I see a big brown stuffed recliner out in the rain on twelfth street. A sign is taped on it, “Allah is the only legitimizer.” I chuckle to myself and imagine Allah, sighing, “How many times have I said not to shop at the Brick? The furniture breaks in a year and a day, and public litter is so not cool.” I muse over a sign I might add, “Will Allah also take this chair to the dump?” Legitimate. What a powerful word. Don’t we all want to be the real deal….

hearts in the arbutus

My heart is sick with a family matter and I wander the house, sleepless and headachy from ending my love affair with coffee. Why does a person feel so ill when they’re trying to get healthy? Oh I know. I know. All those terrible toxins are leaching out. Sexy. I bend down over my Valentine’s bouquet to sniff a fading rose. How can I write when I cannot think? The rain discourages me from a walk. I should go, regardless. Get in my 10,000 steps. The last great hike I went on was on Bowen. I came across a stand…

electromagnetic wow

I unexpectedly find myself lying on a bed of amethyst crystals while listening to Whitney Houston implore, “When you believe” in the background. No, I am not filming a My Little Pony episode. Let me back up. I was offered a free haircut by a master stylist who owns her own salon, really sweet lady, and she gave me a great cut. My fellow had helped her with a flat tire in our church parking lot (because he is Fellow and saves people even on his day off) She wanted to thank him, but she looked at his shaved head…

Christmas in January

I am writing a Christmas show. It’s the end of January and my tree is still up. The needles cling ferociously to bulbs when I leave it this long: crispy little green fingers, clutching like the dying clutch. I hate to disrobe him and throw him into a heap on the front porch for Fellow to chop. One really shouldn’t have to do something this macabre until Easter. He was a fat and lovely fir. I am too intimidated to write so I pack up the ornaments instead. Maybe if my house is cleaner my brain will clear up? I…

I HATE

Today I saw a beautiful black woman in a black bikini with gold trim and a hot body wearing a waterproof black hijab. She looked like an observant Bond girl. I am sure there are people out there one side or the other who don’t agree with either the bikini or the hijab but I thought it was rather spectacular. It seemed honest to me. “this is where I’m at with my faith and my body, despite what you think.” Third day of my 10,000 steps and I’m walking my old dog farther. We are reaching out into the shadier…

starship

If we sit for too long, does our body assume we are waiting to die? Day two of the 10,000 steps and my energy has shot through the roof. I woke up at 5am and decided to take the 5:30 ferry. Normally I would find this an ungodly idea at an ungodly hour. But this morning I was excited to snake along the roads in the dark and hop on the quiet boat over the black water. Usually I sit in my car. It’s only a twenty minute ferry. And I take about five minutes to walk out and catch…

10,000 steps

I walked 10,000 steps today. That’s the recommended amount of movement for people who don’t want to turn into a mushy turnip. I started with a hike in the rain. Immediately I met up with our neighbour: a bus driver and his fire chief wife and their gorgeous children. They were out walking their dog with an exotic name. I met their neighbour, let’s call her Zelda. She was walking her dog with an exotic name and a lovely red kerchief around his neck. The labs kindly sniffed my old mutt’s butt who stood stock still, blind, and a little…

action hero one step at a time

I don’t care to admit I am waiting for a knee operation. It makes me feel mortal. I prefer the concept of Timeless Beauty, personally. I hide my pronounced limp on stage by sashaying my hips seductively. But stairs give me away. I have to take them one by one, sideways, gripping the rail with full geriatric detail. This is particularly embarrassing at the Stanley theatre: all the comp tickets are in the nose bleeds. I have to take those damn stairs down in front of all my peers. This is my first thought with Pride and Prejudice coming up….

Lucia Frangione