Orn and Ugh

I need a wee holiday from about fifteen percent of society. Just a week. Before I lose my cool. On top of some pretty unreasonable folks blabbing red faced on social media, we have our own personal Orn and Ugh raising Cain again. Orn is my thorn and Ugh is Fellow’s smug. Doesn’t every family have an Ornery thorn and Ugh-ly Smug? (you are nodding, yes, yes, we do) And if you’re anything like Fellow and me, everyone around you just assumes you’ll handle the nonsense singlehandedly on behalf of the whole because you’re “strong”. Abandonment is a strange compliment. Yep. We’re on our own with Orn and Ugh because those rascals intimidate everyone else and gleefully run amok.

How do we not let the Orn and Ugh disrupt our sleep and take over our mind? How do we not let the bullies win? How do we stay mindful that they’re coming from a place of insecurity and hurt? I mean, I have to believe that. It’s that or they are choosing to be complete C words. And I don’t use the C word. I have some class. But today…today…it’s starting to fit. That C word is winking at me like a sugar coated donut. I really want to sink my teeth into those consonants. I really want to whisper it while making the bed with only the dog to hear.

Just. So. Mean. Why are people just. so. mean?

So. I don’t even whisper it. I’m better than that.

To a great length, I delete and ignore Orn and Ugh but sometimes they get other people I love involved. Sometimes they are doing something destructive that must be addressed. I breathe. I walk. I pray. I write emails that I do not send. I empty my trash. I clean my house. I pet my dog who loves me. I tell Fellow he’s GREAT. And we have each other’s backs. I reiterate: you’re a wonderful father, you’re an articulate intelligent compassionate captain, you are the best husband ever, a valued citizen, and a hella sexy man o’ God. Fellow once told me, “You’re the kindest person I know.” And I hold on to that when Orn tells me I’m a “loser” and ironically a “bully” and that everyone “hates” me.

I really think CoVid and isolation and the never letting up and the ever changing information and the somewhat arbitrary rules around safety – is making people particularly Ornery and Ugh-ly. It’s really bringing out the thorns and the Smug.

This is when my fantasy about a trullo villa in Puglia kicks in. The white walls. The clean tile. The absolutely nothing hidden under the bed. The blue pool. The sparkling sea. The only question being: shall I swim, shall I sleep, shall I have a glass of wine with this excellent wedge of cheese?